A new way to think of boundaries

Photo by Ardian Lumi on Unsplash

Cue the Bowie: Let’s dance.

  • What is your most feared/annoying/painful trigger that happens at this time of year?
  • Who is your dance partner(s) in it? (Just like in dancing, you can be dancing with one person, or multiple)
  • See if you can document 5–10 steps of the dance, starting with your own participation in it. “First I AA, then they B, then I C, then this other person does D…”
  • Name the emotional tenor of your steps in the dance. Is the emotion anger, sullen, passive aggressive, critical, sad, withdrawing… whatever? (I find my inner teen comes out a LOT with family stuff, so sort of mean and sullen)
  • What is a new emotional tenor you would like to choose to bring to your new dance step? Neutral? Kind? Compassionate? Vulnerable? Powerful?
  • Write out what that would look like in the dance
  • Anticipate many efforts to draw you back into the old dance, with guilt and shame or passive aggressiveness. Make plans for how to stand firm!
  • Rinse and repeat as necessary

--

--

--

Teaching awakening + healing through vulnerability + self-compassion. Finding hope in a messy world. Author of the Sunday Soother. http://catherinedandrews.com

Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.

Recommended from Medium

Facing the “F” word

A Myth to Debunk: You Can’t Control Everything — But You Can Control How You Respond.

The Sunset Dream

Counting Our Blessings in Dog Years

How to Feel the Urgency of Life and Still Enjoy the Scenery Along the Way: 5,936 Days Left and…

The Value of Fear

Growth from the unknown

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Catherine Andrews

Catherine Andrews

Teaching awakening + healing through vulnerability + self-compassion. Finding hope in a messy world. Author of the Sunday Soother. http://catherinedandrews.com

More from Medium

How to Reset and Reconnect After a Fight or Argument

Will Network Approaches Improve Our Understanding of the Brain?

How I’m finally embracing my slow

What Would Make Your Life Worth Living?