A new way to think of boundaries

Photo by Ardian Lumi on Unsplash

Cue the Bowie: Let’s dance.

  • What is your most feared/annoying/painful trigger that happens at this time of year?
  • Who is your dance partner(s) in it? (Just like in dancing, you can be dancing with one person, or multiple)
  • See if you can document 5–10 steps of the dance, starting with your own participation in it. “First I AA, then they B, then I C, then this other person does D…”
  • Name the emotional tenor of your steps in the dance. Is the emotion anger, sullen, passive aggressive, critical, sad, withdrawing… whatever? (I find my inner teen comes out a LOT with family stuff, so sort of mean and sullen)
  • What is a new emotional tenor you would like to choose to bring to your new dance step? Neutral? Kind? Compassionate? Vulnerable? Powerful?
  • Write out what that would look like in the dance
  • Anticipate many efforts to draw you back into the old dance, with guilt and shame or passive aggressiveness. Make plans for how to stand firm!
  • Rinse and repeat as necessary

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Teaching awakening + healing through vulnerability + self-compassion. Finding hope in a messy world. Author of the Sunday Soother. http://catherinedandrews.com

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Catherine Andrews

Catherine Andrews

Teaching awakening + healing through vulnerability + self-compassion. Finding hope in a messy world. Author of the Sunday Soother. http://catherinedandrews.com

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