Coffee, time, and me.
This article is cross-posted from my weekly newsletter, The Sunday Soother, a newsletter about clarity, intention, and useful tips for creating more meaning in your life that goes out every Sunday morning. Subscribe here. I am also a coach who works with sensitive people so they can stop second-guessing, make decisions confidently and live the life they’ve always dreamed of. You can learn more about working with me here.
Recently I gave up coffee for a week.
For somebody who made her first cup of Folgers at age 16 and rarely looked back, this was no small deal.
But as one does when they reach ~ a certain age ~ and stage in life, there has been a lot of questioning going on about the things I have relationships with in life and whether they serve me.
Social media has been under scrutiny for years. Alcohol; you all have read me write about that several times and I also talked about my relationship with alcohol on the Sunday Soother podcast here. (Current status: I have 1–2 drinks one evening a week, feeling good about this.)
Now coffee rose to the forefront, the main question repeating over and over in my mind: Why do I still have a relationship with something that gives me short-term joy but long-term struggles?
I’m a sensitive person, simply meaning I literally have a sensitive nervous system, a sensitive digestive system, and I also recently learned I’m probably also a slow processor of caffeine, making its effects more notable to me than others. It takes a really long time to get out of my system, and if I have even a cup of coffee after, say, 11am, it will noticeably affect my sleep.
Why, then, have I regularly been someone who will drink 4–5 cups a day, even as I got jittery, even as I looked at the clock and saw it was past noon?
Why are we in relationships with things we know do not serve us? What is that about?
In my exploration, I have generally found that these things that we know intellectually are “bad” for us actually are doing something relatively important and substantial for us, something necessary, giving us some benefit that we are unaware of or unwilling to look at.