I’m afraid of time

Catherine Andrews
6 min readMay 24, 2020

Too much, too little.

Photo by Icons8 Team on Unsplash

Has your relationship with time become completely warped these last few months?

Because mine sure has, and it’s not feeling so good as of late. And this goes beyond the foggy, confused, what day/week/month is it even, which I am certainly experiencing.

I feel as if I’m about to have a breakthrough with my relationship with time, but I’m that part pre-breakthrough, where everything… pretty much sucks. Where your issues feel more heightened than they ever have before. Where it’s all you can think about.

This all arises because I’ve recently realized I have a, ah… let’s say, fraught relationship with time. I came to this knowing in two ways. One, in my Introduction to Intentional Living course, I teach one module where I ask students to track their time and money for a week, and then answer some prompts about their relationship with each afterwards.

I do this because time and money are two of the biggest blockers that pop up in relation to living an intentional life — we use them as excuses for not doing the things we want most. You know what that sounds like: “I can’t quit my job that I passionately hate and that is sucking my soul because it pays well and without it I wouldn’t be able to afford my mortgage.” “I would totally take tennis lessons, I just don’t have the time to do it.” Standard issue excuses.

I teach time and money tracking because I want to encourage agency around both of those things — realizing that you have much more control around each than you might give yourself credit for and you could be using them as crutches for not making bigger decisions that would improve the overall quality of your life and light up your soul.

I also ask students to journal about their relationship to time and money. We want to examine this, because as shown above, if you don’t believe you have or will have enough of either, if you have a ‘negative’ or scarcity mindset around each of those, that there will never be enough time or money, then you won’t be living your life from a place of potential and possibility. There will never be enough so you may as well not do the things you want to, right?

Catherine Andrews

Teaching awakening + healing through vulnerability + self-compassion. Finding hope in a messy world. Author of the Sunday Soother. http://catherinedandrews.com