On overcoming fear

Is it possible?

Photo by Caleb Woods on Unsplash

This article is cross-posted from my weekly newsletter, The Sunday Soother, a newsletter about clarity, intention, and useful tips for creating more meaning in your life that goes out every Sunday morning. Subscribe here. I am also a coach who works with sensitive people so they can stop second-guessing, make decisions confidently and live the life they’ve always dreamed of. You can learn more about working with me here.

Happy Sunday, Soothers. I don’t remember a lot of my childhood, but I have a distinct memory of bedtime when I was around the ages of 5–7 or so. I would pull the covers up to my chin. I would pile all of my stuffed animals on top of me in a little pyramid, or line them up against the wall.

And I would wait and hope that these protections would help me when a robber inevitably broke into the house and tried to stab me.

Yes, these are fucked-up things for a kid to believe and yes, I had these thoughts frequently as a child. Even though there was absolutely no reality to them. I grew up in a very safe neighborhood in Washington, D.C., with a house that had, you know, doors that locked, with good parents, security of all kinds, and plenty of safety around me.

And yet, it was all the fear that felt truthful.

I think back often to little scared Catherine and have so much compassion for her, and also realize that in many ways, that as an adult, I’ve been thinking different versions of the same belief that a robber was going to break in and stab me through my duvet.

I’m going to be broke.
I’m going to lose my job.
I’ll never find anybody to love me.
They’re going to make fun of me.
I’m going to get sick.
Everybody around me is going to get sick.
I will always be left alone.

These thoughts, much like the thoughts little Catherine had about a break-in, have no basis in reality, and yet in my adult life, they have often been the primary drivers of my brain, looping around like doomsday butterflies.

The pandemic, which started around the same time I began my business, has whipped these thoughts up into a frenzy, and…