A plan for (finally) dropping the victim narrative

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I use this term a lot in my work with coaching clients: despair mode.

I see folks slip into this place so easily. A mode of freak out. Of self pity. Of negativity. Of spiraling out about worst-case scenarios. Of what’s-the-point-ism. Of fear.

For most of my 40-plus years, this was my default, too. I was addicted to worst-case scenarios, of my own inability to change anything in my life, to my victim narrative.

What despair mode encouraged me to live in was two states: learned helplessness, and learned hopelessness.

The first, learned helplessness — well, if you read my…


The difference between indulging and processing emotions.

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This article is cross-posted from my weekly newsletter, The Sunday Soother, a newsletter about clarity, intention, and useful tips for creating more meaning in your life that goes out every Sunday morning. Subscribe here. I am also a coach who works with sensitive people so they can stop second-guessing, make decisions confidently and live the life they’ve always dreamed of. You can learn more about working with me here.

Do you struggle with indulgent emotions?

Something I struggled with for a very long time was self-pity.

I was an expert at stewing on how I’d been wronged; why things…


When did you first know you were supposed to change?

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This article is cross-posted from my weekly newsletter, The Sunday Soother, a newsletter about clarity, intention, and useful tips for creating more meaning in your life that goes out every Sunday morning. Subscribe here. I am also a coach who works with sensitive people so they can stop second-guessing, make decisions confidently and live the life they’ve always dreamed of. You can learn more about working with me here.

When did you first realize that you were expected to change?

For me, it was 1990, and I had just turned 10 years old.

Up until that point, I had been a…


You’ve know that journaling has great benefits. But how do you even start?

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It might surprise you that as someone who teaches journaling and recommends it so frequently, the practice used to feel hard, confusing, painful, and weird to me. I was extremely resistant to it. I couldn’t see the use of journaling; my mind was already loud and chaotic and full of thoughts racing over one another and I didn’t get the point of writing them down on paper.

I think one reason I was resistant was that I just didn’t know how to start. It seemed overwhelming. I was just supposed to pick up a pen, stare down a blank page…


There are important differences.

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This article is cross-posted from my weekly newsletter, The Sunday Soother, a newsletter about clarity, intention, and useful tips for creating more meaning in your life that goes out every Sunday morning. Subscribe here. I am also a coach who works with sensitive people so they can stop second-guessing, make decisions confidently and live the life they’ve always dreamed of. You can learn more about working with me here.

Happy Sunday, Soothers. Some dear friends recently moved from Washington, D.C. to the Pacific Northwest (sniff, sometimes I feel like the last one standing in this city…


Let’s aim for useful, not positive.

Photo by Viktor Forgacs on Unsplash

This article is cross-posted from my weekly newsletter, The Sunday Soother, a newsletter about clarity, intention, and useful tips for creating more meaning in your life that goes out every Sunday morning. Subscribe here. I am also a coach who works with sensitive people so they can stop second-guessing, make decisions confidently and live the life they’ve always dreamed of. You can learn more about working with me here.

Happy Sunday, Soothers. Since I work primarily with sensitive women, a lot of what we delve into is the loops of negative thinking, processing, and…


Learning how we can meet our own needs

Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Unsplash

This article is cross-posted from my weekly newsletter, The Sunday Soother, a newsletter about clarity, intention, and useful tips for creating more meaning in your life that goes out every Sunday morning. Subscribe here. I am also a coach who works with sensitive people so they can stop second-guessing, make decisions confidently and live the life they’ve always dreamed of. You can learn more about working with me here.

I have a long history with people-pleasing.

Happy Sunday, Soothers. People-pleasing is a condition I’ve dealt with for much of my life, mostly unaware of it happening. I would believe…


Photo by Greg Rosenke on Unsplash

This article is cross-posted from my weekly newsletter, The Sunday Soother, a newsletter about clarity, intention, and useful tips for creating more meaning in your life that goes out every Sunday morning. Subscribe here. I am also a coach who works with sensitive people so they can stop second-guessing, make decisions confidently and live the life they’ve always dreamed of. You can learn more about working with me here.

My grandparents asked something of me in a dream recently.

Happy Sunday, Soothers. Two weeks before my grandmother died, she showed up in a dream with my grandfather, and my father’s parents, too. …


#1? Simple isn’t the same as easy.

Photo by Esperanza Doronila on Unsplash

This article is cross-posted from my weekly newsletter, The Sunday Soother, a newsletter about clarity, intention, and useful tips for creating more meaning in your life that goes out every Sunday morning. Subscribe here. I am also a coach who works with sensitive people so they can stop second-guessing, make decisions confidently and live the life they’ve always dreamed of. You can learn more about working with me here.

Life keeps on teaching… whether I want it to or not!

Happy Sunday, Soothers. I’m here today with four concepts and lessons that have been showing up for me, and as I teach and coach…


Photo by Randy Tarampi on Unsplash

It’s the same.

This article is cross-posted from my weekly newsletter, The Sunday Soother, a newsletter about clarity, intention, and useful tips for creating more meaning in your life that goes out every Sunday morning. Subscribe here. I am also a coach who works with sensitive people so they can stop second-guessing, make decisions confidently and live the life they’ve always dreamed of. You can learn more about working with me here.

On pain now or later.

I wrote the below on Wednesday, closed my laptop, went to sit with my grandmother, and an hour later, with me, my mother, and her longtime beloved aide…

Catherine Andrews

Teaching awakening + healing through vulnerability + self-compassion. Finding hope in a messy world. Author of the Sunday Soother. http://catherinedandrews.com

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